April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. At Oh My Fitness we are incredibly passionate about this topic (whatever words are most extreme than "incredibly passionate" are actually much more accurate!). Though we recognize it's not a fun or light hearted topic, it's certainly one we need to discuss more to protect and save those who are trying to recover from such horrific acts. Every woman deserves to feel like the exceptional human she is. For more resources on how to help or recover, check out the NSVRC, and consider  purchasing one of our Women's Wellness Planners, which donate to women's programs. Oh My Fitness owner, Laura, shares why she's beyond fired up to help end this violence and remind every woman she's a freaking powerful, deserving, worthy, valued badass.

My Truth.

Originally posted on LaGoesWest.Wordpress.com fall 2016

This is, now, my truth.

Not too long after starting my own business, I was at a networking event. This was something I was doing 3-4 evenings per week at that point, to try to get to know people in this place completely foreign to me, after making the insane leap of starting my own company (with very little money, connections, or gameplanning) so soon after moving most of the way across the country from my friends and family. This networking event seemed like any other at a swanky professional club in the valley. I was dressed conservatively and professionally in a nice shirt and slacks, trying to stay close to the couple people I did know, while talking to new possible connections and colleagues. I had 1 glass of wine then switched to soda waters just to keep having something to do with my nervous hands. Unlike most events though, this one changed the course and depth of my life forever. Because at this event I was drugged and raped.
I don’t think I can describe to you how many times I just tried to type that sentence. How unbelievable it still feels to me every time it comes out of my mouth talking to a close friend or to my therapist.
I’ve been through a lot of truly tough things in my life (my life overall is so incredibly blessed, sooooo fortunate, that I really try not to dwell on the challenges), from family members and really close friends dying, health struggles, job changes, picking up and moving across the country when I thought I had my life pretty mapped out where I was. And though those things are truly challenging, and I would never minimize them to anyone going through them, this trauma has been much…different. Much deeper and rattling. You see, through those other hard times, I still knew sort of knew who I was deep down (as much as a young person can, right?!). I may not have the job I want, but I could find (or create) one to succeed. I may not have my amazing friend right by my side any more, but I could share memories of her with my other girlfriends and talk to her in my own way. I couldn’t instantly heal my stupid health issues, but I could try my best and to listen to my body. I could meet people in my new home and put one foot in front of the other. I could see challenges and struggles as times to offer it up and see an opportunity for growth. But rape. Rape strips all of that from you. Because when some asshole deems you as less than human (as someone must to be able to in order to try to destroy someone in this way) you question it too. Who am I? Am I really a beloved and worthy human being? Do I deserve love, happiness, or even to live?
You see, it’s a big, ugly ghost that follows you around every damn day. A ghost made of both who you thought you were and you used to be, and of all the dirty, unworthy, shitty thoughts you carry within yourself now. It taunts you every single day. It’s an evil unlike any other. Nothing I could have had nightmares of would have come close to the terrifying, shaking doubt of this. Nothing has tried to steal my identity and self worth the way rape has. Nothing.
For me, it was also the one type of hardship and evil I thought I had total control over. I couldn’t control death, or the happiness or job security of people I loved. I couldn’t control some of the giant disasters happening in our nation. But I could damn well make sure I was never raped. I was confident! Aware! Careful! See, I was the girl at age 15 as a black belt in martial arts school teaching women how to keep this from happening. I was yelling to the women defending themselves against a fake attacker in our classes to fight harder, that their life was worth it, that they COULD survive and beat his ass.
And they did. And their life is. And they CAN and DID and WILL survive.
I thought, on my worst day, it was an evil I’d have to fight off. Never did I think it was an evil I’d have to recover from. Cope with. Lose myself in. Daily look in the face and tell it hasn’t beat me.
That’s the level rape affects a woman. It’s realizing evil will find and try to decimate you no matter how you prepare for it. Imagine yourself waking up every single day trying to convince yourself you’re just worthy of walking on this planet, much less, worthy of accepting and being loved, happy, or successful. This is why, my dear friends, I cannot be silent in this time of political and social turmoil. Before a few months ago, I really thought I was recovering from this trauma pretty damn well. Then Brock Turner happened. Then the Donald Trump happened. Which turned into more discussions of Bill Clinton. Which made me want to curl up in a ball and hide forever and regress in the healing process. But I can’t do that (even though girrrrrrrl, it’s so damn tempting many days). We all have our causes. And for me, I simply, 110% refuse to accept that our country is okay with anyone leading our nation who is okay with assaulting women or being an accessory to assaulting them. I will not be silent about that. #sorrynotsorry. We deserve better. Don’t we?? Even on my worst day, I will fight for that. If not for me, for YOU. Always. Rape can try to take everything from me. But it won’t. I damn well promise you…
There are definitely days where I grind my teeth into (apparently complete) oblivion, get stress migraines that floor me, that I drink too much wine to cope, that I cry trying to read myself affirmations in the mirror that just acknowledge I’m a worthy human being and have to do my mascara for (ugh!) the 4th time, that I cannot sleep because of such nightmares and anxiety, that I pray to just somehow help me find a light in this somehow, some kind of reason this possibly could have happened to me, so that I can keep going and press on.
Some days, aka today: all of those things are my truth. And you know what, it’s shitty, so freaking shitty, but it’s okay.
Because literally nothing else I have ever or will ever encounter, will ever be as demolishing as this. Will never spark such a fire and passion and anger and path in me the way this has. Assholes, beware: your time is limited. We will face you. Survive you. Beat you. You don’t own us. You don’t own me. And not for much longer will you get away with treating a human being as anything less than the perfect, incredible person they are.
To my fellow survivors, thrivers, risers out there: Let’s acknowledge that some days blow. I think, honestly, that’s the biggest lie I tell myself: that healing from this stupid insanity was and “should be” 1-2-3-4-5, when in fact it looks much more like 1-2-3-2-3-2-1-4-3-2-4… If I’m being truthful, I think my rape will always haunt me. But I’m counting on the fact that I am one damn strong lady. It hasn’t broken me yet, and haha you fucking asshole—it won’t. I will not feel like super woman every day. But you know what, every gosh darn day, I’m alive. I deserve to be alive, and I have a lot to do, a lot of people to help. So fuck you. I’m getting outta the fire alive. And I’ll never stop fighting to help others do the same. You are worth it. Every damn day, girl. Don’t, please don’t, stop fighting. Rise. Fight. Show them the fire I KNOW you have in you. It lights all of our paths, and that’s what we need today. Even if some days we are trading who lights or holds the fire, there is always a path.
I have that fire, and literally most days, that’s what I see as the only possible “positive” or “reason” to come of this mess. I’m unapologetically sassy and combative now. Bye, Laura of yesteryear who just smiled to please everyone, this current girl ain’t got time for that. We have major issues to handle. We WILL stay in the fight till the final round. As Mandisa says: you might be down for a moment, feeling like it’s hopeless, but that’s when it reminds you, you’re an overcomer.
Don’t quit, don’t give in, you’re an overcomer. I believe in you. Whatever your struggle, your calling, your personal fight, I so very much believe in you and your journey. Press on. I hear you, I love you. On your brightest day, on your darkest day, I love you and I am here for you. Because you are worthy. No one will change that, ever.
​
But really, okay? (‘ Cause I see you, girl who is just like me, shaking her head like this is for everyone else. You are worthy. EVERY. DAY. Whatever your journey or your struggle. You freaking rock, and you have such an incredible purpose.)


P.S. Sassy Laura says: You fucking deserve this. Don’t run and hide. Fight with me. When darkness comes to town, we will trade off being lights. Because we are survivors, who are completely worth it. Don’t forget it, okay? Now let’s go. We have a lot of work to do! 

Hello hello!
 
I don’t know about you, but I am SO glad summer is on the horizon! (I know, I know, I live in Northern California, but we had more rain and winter-like weather here than you’d expect! HA!). As such, I thought it was time to share some of my favorite quick hairstyles that are great for summer, but even more amazing for workouts year-round!
 
…because your hair flopping in your face or getting stuck on your neck truly distracts and annoys you when you’re killing it in your sweat sesh, right? Have no fear, here are four of my go-tos that anyone can do (like, really. I have no hair skills to speak of and am ever thankful for my amazing hairdresser and for girlfriends who don’t mind when I beg them to curl my hair for me. So if I can do these, you can totally handle them!).
 
Note: You could definitely make these look way better if you took more time to do them. I literally threw these each into place in less than 1 minute as we were shooting photos and changing backdrops, and that’s about realistic for how much time I’m willing to spend on gym-hair.
 
 
THE TRICERATOPS:
My bada** name for this triple bun style! Who doesn’t want to feel more powerful in the gym, right? This style is great for any length hair, but extra handy when you have shorter hair, lots of layers, or think any amount of flyaways is super distracting (ME!).
Tools needed: 3 medium size hair bands
Note: Depending on hair thickness and length, you could do more or less of these. Three is about right for me. For reference: my hair is super thick and reaches just past my shoulders.
To-do: Gather about one third of your hair at top and wrap into a bun, securing with band. Follow suit with next portion, and the third. I wrap my buns super tight so there’s no chance of them slipping out, and love that this one stays really secure. It’s also a comfortable to do floor work with, since they’re lined up and you can lie flat back on them.

​THE DUAL FRENCH BRAIDS:
This one looks much more impressive than the skill it takes (I would know.), and I like adding a headband to it to keep from falling apart in case you didn’t braid tightly enough.
Tools needed: 2 small hair bands, optional headband (this one is Lulu Lemon and actually fits my large head!)
Note/to-do: Haha, it’s cute if you thought you were going to get a tutorial on how to French braid. At 27 years old, I still don’t do it correctly (always do them backwards, somehow? Maybe just my left handedness?!), but here’s a great link on how to! After you do that, I simply slip a flat headband on (so I can still wear my Beats over it) and get my movement on!
 

​MESSY BUN BRAID:
This is probably actually my favorite style. I’ll wear it for days at a time (thanks, dry shampoo! My favorite two affordable superwoman brands: Not Your Mother’s and Dove. Fun fact: I’ve noticed a trend where I always buy products with “volume and fullness” in the name as if my hair wasn’t enough of a lion’s mane, but hey, I’m from the Midwest/south, where we believe the bigger the hair, the closer you are to God.)
Tools needed: Just a smidge of patience, 1-2 large hair bands
Note: I used to look at this one and think “no way!,” but I promise it’s super easy.
To-do: Flip yo’ head over and gather a small section of hair from nape of neck. Start a small French braid (yeah, scroll up again if you need help with that part), until you get about halfway up your head. I generally braid it pretty tightly, then gather the braid with rest of hair, flip my head back over, and quickly toss it all into a messy bun. Boom. Incredibly fast and messy, and yet totally cute.

​MINI-BUNS!:
Okay, fine, so this one is equally my favorite. It’s so fun and versatile (read: also a style I do when going to music festivals or needing to channel my creative side.), and probably the quickest style to complete.
Tools needed: 2 medium/large hair bands depending on hair length/thickness and a big goofy grin
To-do: Split hair in two. Gather one side into tight bun. Secure with band. Repeat. Done.

​I hope these help you kill some workouts and the summer heat this season! Be sure to let me know what you think or if you have more suggestions for great, easy workout hair!